Paradox
by Kieko Rose
Summary: I watched him, took pictures of him, but that just isnt enough, I want him, I want him all to myself. But I can't have him with you around now can I?


Paradox

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He had a smile on his face when he came home; a beautifully wicked smile that still to this day gives me goose bumps. His shirt was messily buttoned up as if he had just thrown on clothes before he left, but I bet that he didn't notice. He smiles as he drops the groceries on the counter calling to you but didn't answer and he sighs in annoyance. I watched from a spare bedroom as he takes a minute to look at the refrigerator at pictures of him and you. Some intimate, some playful, and some serious pictures were shown. He smiles at the pictures, tracing a small finger across your face. He smiles wickedly already planning events for him and you for tonight as usual, and pathetically not for him and me. He started to put away groceries which is strange because I didn't know that either of you could cook, I always saw you too going out to eat, something big must have been planned for tonight, didn't it?

I crawled from the spare bedroom and into the living room wanting to make sure everything was perfect for him, because everything must be perfect. Tonight I have given him a gift that I know that he will die for. He will cry in happiness and then he shall see me and we can be together forever, leaving you in the dust. I always hated you, hanging on him as if he was your soul purpose for life. Being with him nearly twenty-four hours, pranking people together, working together, sharing the same bed together, what didn't you two do together? You know that he could have gone on to great things, if it wasn't for you. You wrapped him in a reality that no one else will ever know, made him do things that no one should ever make somebody do. It got to the point where he was so wrapped up with you and your god damn reality that I became nobody to him, an invisible person just like the millions of other people. You never let anyone else have a try with him. You bewitched him with your innocence, your need for him poisoning him.

Every time you would dance in front of him he got even more lost in your fantasy, in your reality. I would watch though cameras as you would twist and bend and twirl around innocently in front of him and he would caress your legs, your arms, kissing your chest, you're hip. I would watch as you moaned as he gently joined you in your dance until the innocent dancing became dangerous, intense, and wrong. You would laugh when he hesitates dragging him into a fierce kiss that you two only share in the dark, a shameful secret that I have watched over a million times.

I would watch you two as you worked. One at the register, the other in the back. It was always him at the register and I always counted on that because everyone knows that he is better at talking to people than you are, your reality was too dark to allow other people into, secrets too shameful to allow you to have any friends. He was always joking but you were too, always. He would flirt with woman and sometimes men, but not usually, and you always smiled and joked about it with him. But whenever you see him flirting for a second you will let your true emotions show. You where hurt and you where scared, as if you expected him at any time to leave you for the pretty women or the handsome men. But you didn't know that he was wrapped around you, obsessing over how perfect you where, how wonderful you are. He was always watching you with such longing that he didn't do for me. I would wish though. At your work I would watch him wishing that he would notice me, wishing I had enough courage to confess my love. When I see him alone I would try to go and talk to him but I never had the courage. Instead I always wanted until both of you were together. You would laugh at me when I tried to share my wisdom with him, and he would to. And I knew that he didn't care about anyone, maybe his family, maybe but no one else.

When I was alone I would dream about him and me together. I would dance for him but my dance will be so much more gorgeous, so much more hypnotizing. I would dream about him inside of me, whispering in my ear his love for me, moaning and groaning my name when he comes. Every time I wake up from the dream I felt so needy, so horny that I would crawl in bed with the first guy I saw. They never satisfied me, only him or you can. My room has become a temple; my walls covered with pictures of you two. Pictures of you two in bed, walking around the town, at Hogwarts, pictures of him showering, pictures of you showering. I had pictures of you when you where at the dentist office, when you where alone by yourself. I had pictures of him jacking off to a picture of you, had pictures of him pounding into you. I wanted to be you; I wanted to be the one left crying when he leaves you naked and alone.

I snuck inside your house today when you two were still asleep. I sat in front of your bed on the floor watching as you two slept, his arms holding you tightly, and identical smiles on your faces. I imagined that I was you then, imagined that he loved me like he loved you. He looked so sexy, so dreamy. And you looked innocent, sweet, but toxic. By the time you both were awakened I hid, finding a place that I would be hidden but could watch you two clearly.

I watched as he caressed you, kissing you hardly but you kissed him back with the same urgency. You two stayed in bed for a while, just holding each other. He got up first throwing clothes on and so did you, at the same time. His shirt was messy but he didn't care he only thought of you. You didn't even have your t-shirt on before he tackled you to the floor tickling you until you begged for him to stop; I never realized how beautiful you sounded. He laughs before he helps you to your feet and you smiled at him with love and he smiled back at you seductively. He picks you up and spins you around and you squirmed and squealed like a dying animal, god he was so beautiful but so were you.

You two woke up so late, later than usual and I knew why. Yesterday somebody happened to have broken into your shop, burned it to the ground. You cried when you found out and the first time I saw you cry, and he hugged you tightly whispering that everything was going to be okay, but he was trying not to cry as well. I wished he did cry he always looked so gorgeous when he cried.

So today when you two were both awake and dressed he told you that he was going out for a bit. He told you that he had a surprise for you and you smiled at him and whispered seductively that you can't wait to find out what it is. He kissed you again and you moaned and kissed him back. He left then leaving you alone, so vulnerable, so very much alone.

I followed him until I found him at a jewelry store looking at something. I walked calmly into the shop and stood near him acting like I was interested in a necklace, but I was listening as he was talking to a manager.

"I really wanted to find the right ring."

"What is the ring for?" The manager asked and he smiled.

"I hope to find an engagement ring."

"Who is the lucky lady."

"The most wonderful and breathtaking person in the world."

"Let me show you a couple of rings." The manager said but I was already running, running from grief, crying from anger. I stood in front of the shop trying to find out where I should go, what I needed to do next. I decided to give him a chance as I sat on the curb until he came out smiling and looking oh so smug.

"Hey." I said with a smile and he turns to me and smiles back.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me in confusion still smiling.

"I…I'm here to make your dreams come true."

"What are you talking about?"

"I love you." I screamed out for the world to hear.

"I'm sorry but I am with someone already and so are you."

"But I love you so much." I whispered wrapping my arms around him lifting my skirt a bit so he can tell I wasn't wearing underwear.

"Please?" I whispered.

"Sorry, I'm with someone and I will not cheat on hi-her." He told me not too gently as he started to walk off.

"But if you weren't seeing anyone would you go out with me?" I begged and he turned around and stared at me for a minute.

"Why does it matter?" He muttered and my heart exploded, I turned and ran. He yelled something to me but I didn't care, I just ran as fast as I could collapse in a bench. I couldn't understand it, why didn't he love me? I am perfect, we will do so well with each other, our children will be pretty, our sex will be full of passion. I had to show him how wonderful I am, how perfect we are for each other but he will never notice me. I smile, I know what to do, I have to break him of your spell. I had to get him out of your twisted and controlling reality.

He had a smile on his face when he came home; a beautifully wicked smile that still to this day gives me goose bumps. His shirt was messily buttoned up as if he had just thrown on clothes before he left, but I bet that he didn't notice. He smiles as he drops the groceries on the counter calling to you but didn't answer and he sighs in annoyance. I watched from a spare bedroom as he takes a minute to look at the refrigerator at pictures of him and you. Some intimate, some playful, and some serious pictures were shown. He smiles at the pictures, tracing a small finger across your face. He smiles wickedly already planning events for him and you for tonight as usual, and pathetically not for him and me. He started to put away groceries which is strange because I didn't know that either of you could cook, I always saw you too going out to eat, something big must have been planned for tonight, didn't it?

I watched as he went into the living room tiredly not even brothering to turn on the lights as he threw himself on the couch. A second later I heard his sexy scream and I melted like butter. He jumped off the couch and onto the floor and that was in I turned on the lights. He shivered. I smiled at him wearing a wedding dress I just brought, he looked furious.

"Where is he?" He screamed digging though his pockets for his wand.

"Aren't I good, I broke you from his spell? You are free." I said with a smile and he grasped his hair crimson from your blood.

"Now, isn't there something you wanted to give me?" I asked holding out my hand and his eyes widened.

"Where is he?" He screamed again and I smiled.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore; he won't mess with you ever again." I whispered taking a step towards him.

"Stay away from me." He screamed and I stopped in my tracks. What, why is he afraid of me, I saved him, he should have been jumping from happiness. I turned to look at the wall; you did make such lovely paint. He stumbles and I turned my attention back to him and he grabbed his telephone and I smile. He is going to call his mom to declare our engagement. I can see he is crying and man did he look gorgeous, just as gorgeous as you did as you pleaded for your pathetic life. How foolish you were, to fall asleep on the couch so delicately, didn't anyone warn you that your innocence will one day get you killed. Should I tell him how easy it was to kill you, how weak you were? His hands touched the couch again and he whimpered as he looked at the crimson substance over his hand. Didn't he wonder how his white couch suddenly became red, why his baby blue wall become blood red?

"Isn't it pretty. I did it just for you." I told him and he spun around to face me as if he forgot I was there, I shrugged as I looked back at the wall. I could hear sirens coming closer but I knew that they weren't coming for me because he wouldn't do that to me, his real love, right? I mean he brought a ring for me today, why would he call the cops. You where raping him or maybe he was raping you, it doesn't matter, it wasn't real love. It was just part of the fake reality. He may have thought that he loved you but I will show him what real love is. I tried to show you but you started to fight back.

"Why, why?" He screamed his usual bubbly personality broken. I loved him but I also loved you, double obsessions that didn't lead anywhere. I wanted you so badly but you had to choose him and your imperfect reality. I want him more badly and I will be damn if he makes the same mistake, he shall be mine. But in the end he is yours and you belong to me because in the last minutes of your life I had my way with you and you cried in disgust, I would have done the same thing to him but the sirens are getting closer and I know that he chose you and not me. I wonder when he will start to look for you; he will love what I did to you. Because he never loved you, he loved the idea of you, the wickedness of you. He really loved you but wouldn't have been happy without you. I loved him and I loved you, you only loved him, and that was why you had to die. I smile as I twirled around happily as I looked at him. He will have never even noticed me if you were still alive…

I smiled as the sirens got closer. "Why, why…so that way you can what you always wanted. You can have both of us."

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Tell me what you think of this story, who do you think the I, you, and him are? 


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